BP? More Like B-minus

Based on the Article "Allen gives BP a mixed grade" found here:
http://www.cnn.com/2010/POLITICS/08/08/allen.spill.lessons/index.html?hpt=Sbin

(LoL) -- The use of a letter-grading system is typically reserved to track and review the performance of school children throughout the year.  


So, naturally it is good enough to use when attempting to critique an unmitigated disaster of historic proportions. 


Despite the availability of alternative grading systems, such as the "gold-star" or "smiley-face" system, Thad Allen, who according to the article is "the man charged with leading the federal response" to the Gulf spill, recently was asked to give BP a letter grade between "A" and "F" to rate its performance in dealing with the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.


While most people with no apparent significant head trauma would probably assign the oil giant a big-fat "FAIL" or perhaps, the non-existent but still emotionally powerful, "F-minus," Thad Allen gave BP a mixed grade.


The article quotes Allen (my comments are in italics and contained in "( )":


"At the well head, I'm not sure there's any oil company that could have done anything more than they did (besides not engaging in extremely risky deepwater drilling with shaky equipment in the first place).  The technology that was needed to be brought in for other parts of the world, was [brought in] (sorry you had to go out of your way, BP).  It took a long time to engineer it (yeah, this shit has been leaking for a little while now, hasn't it?).  It took a long time to install it.  But, ultimately (like, after hundreds of days), it helped us put the cap on and control the well (Ha! Take that, previously free-flowing oil well).  So I give them fairly good marks there (Uh....Really!?!  Even though they took a long time to get their shit together, they are still doing fairly well just because they paid the shipping cost to bring in equipment that probably should have been there to begin with and installed it?  I wish this guy were my teacher in high school.)"


When asked about BP's emotional approach to the human side of the disaster Allen said in a disjointed and awkward-to-read way:


"What BP is not good at: they're a large global oil production company (I wish this were the end of the quote.  That would be funny).  They don't do retail sales or deal with individuals on a transactional basis (If only BP operated more like a retail giant, because Wal-Mart and Baby Gap are shimmering beacons of true humanitarian services and emotional intelligence).  Anything that's involved, that has been a real struggle for them.


It's something they don't naturally have a capacity (just like being able to generate their own body heat) or a competency in their company (the lack of competency remark actually makes sense) and it's been very, very hard for them to understand (you know, being that they are not of this Earth and struggling to understand our silly human emotions).  And that's the lens by which the American people view them and that's the area where they need to improve the most (well, that and drilling without spilling)."


As for the technology involved in capping the well, Allen had this to say:


"I think what everybody's learned moving through this is that there's going to have to be a different type of production method out there that includes the type of technology that they've used to cap this well and capture the oil and that needs to be a permanent part moving forward."


(Right.  So, the take-home lesson isn't that the oil companies shouldn't attempt risky deepwater drilling in the first place, but rather that making sure the same equipment used in this bungled clean-up attempt is more readily available.  I was kind of hoping the moral of this story would be that the most powerful corporations in the world would recognize that it's getting increasingly harder to drill for, extract and refine a nonrenewable resource, and that perhaps technology should be used to promote a plethora of the alternative energies that would have already been viable options today if their development wasn't stifled twenty years ago...by these same companies...who all have departments dedicated to researching alternative, eco-friendly energy solutions seemingly only for the sake of being to run feel-good commercials to let us all know they are doing their part for the Earth.)   


He added that the oil and gas industry is already starting to consider forming a consortium "to keep this type of equipment and take a look at it.  And that's going to have to be a fundamental part of this."


I don't know about you, but my confidence is suddenly renewed!  It sounds as though the industry leaders are toying with the idea of maybe hand-picking a group of individuals that can somehow store and examine the same equipment that is being used in the Gulf oil spill containment situation today.  


What could go wrong?


And before I forget, Thad Allen when it comes to assigning grades, you can give yourself an "F."