US Senate Nominee's Solution: Porn and Bobbleheads

Based on the article “Greene indicted on obscenity charges” found here: http://www.cnn.com/2010/POLITICS/08/13/greene.indicted/index.html?hpt=T2

(LoL) – CNN.com is reporting that “U.S. Senate nominee Alvin Greene, a political unknown who became the surprise winner of the South Carolina Democratic primary, was indicted Friday by a grand jury on obscenity charges.”

According to the article, Greene was charged by police for showing “pornographic material to a female University of South Carolina student on a computer in the school's library.

The alleged victim, according to university police, also said Greene asked if he could come to her room.” 

The girl most likely responded by asking who the hell he was, and then issuing a curt “no” to Greene.  Trust me, I know the response these types of actions usually generate.

Greene's June 8 primary victory stunned politicians in South Carolina because they had never heard of him and saw no proof he had mounted any type of campaign, although there has been subsequent proof that he tried to mount a MILF at a local Wal-Mart. 

His Democratic opponent, Vic Rawl (otherwise known as the guy with the worst senate campaign in US history), tried to have the election overturned, saying there were voting machine irregularities.  Or at least he really f*cking hopes there were.

While in the military, Greene was denied two promotions and made "mistakes as severe as uploading sensitive information improperly, and as basic as an overall inability to clearly express his thoughts and perform basic tasks," thus making it obvious that this man is more than qualified to hold office as a US Senator.

Lastly, Greene recently attracted attention to his candidacy by proposing to create jobs in South Carolina by making "toys of me, especially for the holidays.  Little dolls. Like maybe action dolls.  Me in an Army uniform, Air Force uniform, and me in my suit."

Greene, who is without question an idea man - and a guy who knows how to get shit done - will probably also consider releasing a limited edition doll, complete with pimp cane accessory, an “I campaigned for US Senate Democratic Nominee and all I got was this stupid T-shit…oh, and a victory,” and a miniature, diamond encrusted bullhorn, which with a press of the button announces, “I’mma mutha f*ckin’ Senator, Bitch!”