Published August 07, 2010
| Associated Press
(LoL) -- Take a second to imagine Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, least known for his role as John G. Nicolay's voice in a 1992 made for TV movie called "Lincoln," approaching the governor's podium and declaring, "Let same-sex weddings resume now."
It went something like this, didn't it:
"Let same-sex weddings resume...
...NOOOWWWWW!!!"
The Governator has officially called for an immediate lift on the ban of same-sex marriages following a ruling from the California Supreme Court earlier this week that overturned the controversial (and just plain mean and unnecessary) Proposition 8. The ruling was detailed in a 136-page decision, 132 pages of which have yet to be read by anyone.
Proposition 8, which had the support of the Target Corporation and Mormons everywhere, went into effect after California voters approved the ballot measure (That wasn't a misprint. California actually went all conservative up in this beeyotch for a minute). The proposition denied gays the right to get married and be miserable forever after, while the rest of us were still free to rush into marriage and later regret it some 18 months down the line.
While it came as a surprise to some Californians that the governor would so strongly support the court's ruling, they were shown the following picture, and it all clicked:
That's right.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is ssthoooo gay!
Or at least transgender.
How else can one explain his ability to portray a pregnant man in 1994's uncritically acclaimed "Junior" directed by Ivan Reitman, who no longer makes good films and could potentially ruin the "Ghostbusters" franchise with a third installation due out in 2012. Special effects weren't good enough back then to make a man appear pregnant.
Also, Schwarzenegger kissed Jamie Lee Curtis multiple times, and everyone knows she was born a hermaphrodite.
Per the real article, "The measure's sponsors have asked the judge to keep the ban in effect until their appeal of Walker's ruling invalidating Proposition 8 is decided by higher courts."
Or at least until Jesus comes back and God kills all the gays.
Also, "lawyers for sponsors of Proposition 8 said Friday they would seek an emergency order from the 9th Circuit to prevent [the issuance of marriage licenses] from happening." But, because it's the 9th Circuit, they will likely be told to piss off and hopefully somebody will remind Prop 8 supporters that the country has already heard similar weak-ass, bigoty-laden arguments fifty years ago during the Civil Rights Movement.
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