(LoL) -- Flint, MI unveiled its first biogas vehicle on Thursday.
The Chevrolet heavy
Seriously, no shit.
The truck is "intended to educate, enlighten, and employ." However, unintended side effects of the project may include a limitless arsenal of shit-related jokes constantly being leveled at the vehicle wherever it travels, really bad emissions...like, really bad, and owners of the vehicle routinely being spotted in awkward positions on the side of the highway as they attempt to defecate into the gas tank while on their tippy toes.
One highway patrolman went on record as saying, "Oh, I can't wait to initiate a vehicle stop on this thing! Me and the boys back at the station have been working on some real zingers. We're gonna wait for the driver to ask us why we pulled him over, and then say things like, 'For going squirty-five in a squirty. For driving a piece of shit down the road. Can I see your license, registration, insurance papers...and toilet paper? For failure to plop at a plop sign. For not wasting a natural resource. Is this truck a two-and-a-half ton, or just a deuce? For driving while constipated. For..."
At this point the patrolman was interrupted by a superior officer who asked, "Hey, did you tell the 'plop sign' one yet?" The patrolmen confirmed that indeed he had already told the "plop sign" joke and the officers left the area together in search of suspicious minorities.
A large barrel in the truck bed holds biomethane and students involved in the project say it's not that difficult to install. Although, according to one student, filling the tank "can be a real bitch if there's not a Taco Bell around."
While the vehicle gets decent gas mileage, Bryce, one of the students currently showing the truck recalled running out of fuel on his most recent outing. "Luckily, Steve was hungover and totally had the beer shits. Otherwise, we might not have made it here."
Flint city officials, known for their economic savvy and effective tourism campaign, want to convert the city's entire fleet of vehicles to biogas, stating "it's not just about energy, but employment.
"If you want to have the jobs, you've got to have the innovation and the good ideas. That's what's always fueled the auto industry from its early days. That's what made Flint such a hot spot. Now we've got to do it again," says Flint Mayor Dayne Walling.
The mayor was then made fun of for thinking that the poop-mobile would save the economically depressed region and for referring to Flint as a "hot spot."
"Hot Spot? More like hot plate," cracked one observer.
Worth noting is the vehicle's unique owner's manual, which includes TV listings, short-stories and several comics, apparently for the owner to read while "fillin' 'er up."
Oregon state officials have suggested that, despite current laws requiring full-service gas stations, any biogas vehicles would be considered a strictly self-service vehicle.
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